I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth

You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth

She's got a pad down at 34th and Vine

Sellin' little bottles of

Love Potion Number Nine

I told her that I was a flop with chicks

I'd been this way since 1956

She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign

She said "What you need is

Love Potion Number Nine"

She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink

She said "I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink"

It smelled like turpentine and looked like India ink

I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink

I didn't know if it was day or night

I started kissin' everything in sight

But when I kissed the cop down at 34th and Vine

He broke my little bottle of

Love Potion Number Nine Love Potion Number Nine

Love Potion Number Nine