1. An old man turned ninety-eight, he won the lottery and died the next day.

2. Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly, he packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye.

3. A traffic jam when you're already late, a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break.

1. It's a black fly in your Chardonnay, it's a death row pardon two minutes too late

2. He waited his whole damn life just to take that flight, and as the plane crashed down he thought, "Well, isn't this nice?"

3. It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife, it's like meeting the man of my dreams,

and then meeting his beautiful wife

And isn't it ironic, don't you think?

It's like ra...in on your wedding day, it's a free ri...de when you've already paid.

It's the good adv...ice that you just didn't take, and who would have thought, it figures?

Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, when you think everything is okay, and everything's going right.

And life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face.