In a young lady's bedroom I went by mistake, my intentions were honest you see
But she shouted with laughter "haha, I know what you're after, my Auntie Maggie's remedy"

Oh my Auntie Maggie's home-made remedy guaranteed never to fail
That's the stuff that'll do the trick, sold at every chemist for one and a kick
Now if the baby starts crying, there's always a reason and if you inspect him you'll see
Awww, the poor little chappy has covered his nappy with Auntie Maggie's remedy
Now, I went to the doctors, I wasn't too well and he made me lie on the settee
He said "there's trouble brewing, you've been overdoing you're Auntie Maggie's remedy"

Now, I know a girl who was putting on weight in a place where it just shouldn't be
So I said to Nellie "now you rub your ankle with Auntie Maggie's remedy"
Now I went to the races, the horse that I backed should have won it was easy to see
But the trainer said after "it would have run faster with Auntie Maggie's remedy"
"Inside its nosebag, Auntie Maggie's remedy"