Mother you give good advice

Always you mean well

Now I need it more than ever

I'm inside this cell

I'm be- hind a prison wall

The bed's so hard and much too small

There's no pyjamas here at all

Oh, Mother what'll I do now?

They told me they would treat me swell

Tucked inside my little cell

But up to now it's been like h...!

Mother what'll I do now?

We're parted from each other

And that's too bad

You're my favourite Mother

Oh, the best I ever had

Tonight I've got a date, you see

But they won't let me have a key

And the warder's won't wait up for me

Oh, Mother what'll I do now

It's hard to pass the time away

I'm in a dangerous mood, I say

I've smoked two ciga- rettes today

Oh, Mother what'll I do now?

First I stand and then I sit

Then I sit and stand a bit

But I can't stand much more of it

Oh, Mother what'll I do now?

We're parted from each other

And that's too bad

You're my favourite Mother

Oh, the best I ever had.

I got such an awful shock

I asked the time, for there's no clock

And the warder said, "Six months Old Cock"

Oh, Mother what'll I do now?

I ordered lunch from soup to sweet

But they forgot the fish and meat

And since the soup there's nowt to eat

Oh, Mother what'll I do now?

I've had such a tummy ache

All night long I've been awake

Some castor's oil they made me take

Oh, Mother what'll I do now?

We're parted from each other

And that's too bad

You're my favourite Mother

Oh, the best I ever had.

I've played Peter-fly-away-Paul

I've played tiddlywinks and all

I've written rude words upon the wall

Oh, Mother what'll I do now?