1. I have a sad story to tell you, it may hurt your feelings a bit.

2. I think I'll break off with my girlfriend. Her antics are queer, I'll ad-mit.

3. Our baby fell out of the window. You'd think that her head would be split.

4. An old lady died in the bathtub. She died from a terrible fit.

5. When I was in France with the army. One day I looked into my kit.

6. And now, folks, my story is ended. I think it is time I should quit

1. Last night when I walked in my bathroom, I stepped in a big pile of...

2. Each time I say "Darling, I love you," she tells me that I'm full of...

3. But good luck was with her that morning. She fell in a barrel of...

4. In order to fulfill her wishes, she was buried in six feet of...

5. I thought I would find me a sandwich, but the darn thing was loaded with...

6. If any of you feel of-fended, stick your head in a barrel of...

CHORUS: Shaving Cream! Be nice and clean!

Shave every day and you'll always look keen!