Remember when you call me a-sobbin' and cryin', the dog bit your maw and drug her a-round.

You said she looked pain and thought she was dyin'. I said "Don't worry, I'll buy a new hound."

CHORUS: Where, oh where are you to-night? Why did you leave me here all al-lone?

I searched the world over and thought I found true love. You met another and Pfft you was gone.

Down here on the farm the weather gets messy, laying around with nothing to do.

When you went away you took my cow, Bessie. I miss her, darling, more than I miss you.

You took off your leg, your wig and eye-glasses, and you should have seen the look on my face.

I wanted to kiss, I wanted to hug you, but you were scattered all over the place.

REPEAT CHORUS

I know that you loved me here's my way of knowin': the proof's hangin' right out there on the line.

When I see the snow and feel the wind blowin', your nightie's huggin' them long johns of mine.

The noises you made at our supper table! Your habits, my dear, were surely ab-surd.

But how many times do I have to tell you? Soup is a dish to be seen and not heard.

REPEAT CHORUS

I had six kids and you had e-leven, and we had a boy and they grew like flowers.

I wish you'd come back, with-out you ain't heaven, 'cause your kids and my kids are beatin' up ours.

REPEAT CHORUS