[A] I'm just a [A7] regular [D] Joe with a [Dm] regular [A] job

I'm your [A7] average [D] white su[Dm]burbanite [A] slob

I like [A7] football and [D] porno and [Dm] books about [A] war

I got an [A7] average [D] house with a [Dm] nice hardwood [A] floor

My [A7] wife and my [D] job my [Dm] kids and my [A] car

My [A7] feet on my [D] table and a [Dm] Cuban ci[A]gar [A7] [D] [Dm]

But [A] sometimes that [A7] just ain't e[D]nough

To keep a [Dm] man like me [A] interested oh [A7] no no [D] way uh [Dm] huh

No I've [A] gotta go [A7] out and have [D] fun at someone [Dm] else's ex[A]pense

Wo [A7] yeah yeah [D] yeah yeah [Dm] yeah

I [A] drive really [A7] slow in the [D] ultra-fast [Dm] lane

While [A] people be[A7]hind me are [D] going in[Dm]sane

I'm an [A] asshole [A7] [D] [Dm] (he’s an asshole what an asshole)

I'm an [A] asshole [A7] [D] [Dm] (he’s an asshole such an asshole)

I [A] use public [A7] toilets and I [D] piss on the [Dm] seat

I [A] walk around in the [A7] summertime saying [D] how about this [Dm] heat

I'm an [A] asshole [A7] [D] [Dm] (he’s an asshole what an asshole)

I'm an [A] asshole [A7] [D] [Dm] (he’s an asshole such an asshole)

[A] Sometimes I [A7] park in [D] handicapped [Dm] spaces

While [A] handicapped [A7] people make [D] handicapped [Dm] faces

I'm an [A] asshole [A7] [D] [Dm] (he’s an asshole what an asshole)

I'm an [A] asshole [A7] [D] [Dm] (he’s a real f….ing asshole)

[Bm] Maybe I shouldn't be [E7] singing this song

[Bm] Ranting and raving and [E7] carrying on

[Bm] Maybe they're right when they [E7] tell me I'm wrong NAH!

I'm an [A] asshole [A7] [D] [Dm] (he’s an asshole what an asshole)

I'm an [A] asshole [A7] [D] [Dm] (he’s the world’s biggest asshole)

[A] A S [A7] S H [D] O L [Dm] E [A] A S [A7] S H [D] O L [Dm] E

[A] Oomph oomph [A7] oomph oomph [D] oomph oomph [Dm] oomph

[A] [A7] [D] [Dm] I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it!